School Support – Coping with the Loss of a Loved One

As an adult, coping with the loss of a loved one is a challenging and emotionally traumatic time, for a child it can be an even harder situation to deal with. Not only will the child feel a range of emotions including sadness, loneliness, and anger, they will also feel confused. Death is still somewhat of a taboo in many cultures and even as mature adults we find it difficult to process and hard to talk about. It’s therefore of utmost importance that any child who is going through the grieving process receives the level of support they require in order to progress with their education during such a crucial stage of life.

Up to 70% of schools will have a bereaved student on their roll at any one time, which only highlights the importance of having a bereavement policy and support in place for students experiencing loss. Teachers don’t have to necessarily turn into grief counsellors but they can be present and act as a form of stability for the child who is struggling to cope.

These tips are intended to help you provide support for grieving students who may require extra help during a difficult time.

Help them to Understand
This is particularly relevant for younger students who may not yet understand exactly what death means. They may be struggling with the sudden disappearance of a parent or grandparent, and the concept of never being able to see them again can be extremely scary and unsettling for young children. Reinforcing the basics of death can help them to understand, avoid using phrases such as ‘gone to a better place’ or ‘passed away’ as this can confuse the child. Instead, explain that they have ‘died’ or they are ‘dead’ and how this is a normal and natural occurrence.

Allow them to Express
Grieving students may be looking for extra attention and time to talk. It’s important that you try and make time to hear them out, and not to override their opinions. Listen, understand and offer support. If you notice that they appear upset in class, ask if they’d like a timeout or to head to the library for a break. Being surrounded by other students can be overwhelming when also dealing with so many new emotions.

Provide Extra Support
As well as being a shoulder to cry on, it may be beneficial for the student to be offered extra learning support. Whether this is via a one-to-one session, extensions on homework or changes to their exam schedules, it’s important to help them through their studies. Talk to the students and to their guardians and work out a plan that will best support them and their grades.

Introduce an Older Student
Children often learn better from other young people and are more likely to open up to them as opposed to adults or teachers. It could be a good idea to introduce a younger student to a slightly older student who may have also been through the grieving process. They can share their experience and reiterate to the younger student that all of these emotions are normal and that everything will be ok.

Recommend Help
Dealing with grief can be hard on both children and adults, and you may find that the parent or guardian of the child is also having a hard time coping with the loss and making the appropriate arrangements. There are people out there that can help with the funeral planning process: for example, the experts at Beyond can aid with everything from finding the right funeral director to applying for finance. Politely suggest that they seek help with this difficult time, it will alleviate a lot of stress and emotional hardship.

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